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Sunday, February 3, 2013

Resolutions in January

Thank you for the beautiful comments on Wednesday's post. I could not have asked for friendlier support, and I feel very lucky indeed for the friends and readers that I have. 

Much of January looked like this. I promise more pictures in February.

One month in, how are these looking? Still relevant, still doable? 

- learn to make my own happiness (because it is not Tim's job, and because circumstances will not always be peachy) 
Obviously this one is hard to quantify. What does "making my own happiness" look like, anyway? One of the most important things I did on this front was to start talking about my sexuality,  booting some of the guilt that I've never really lived without. 

- complete one wearable sewn garment (hello brown paisley dress)
I've made a sewing date with Laura and a promise to make some progress on the dress beforehand.

- master fair isle knitting (in order to make things such as this)

- remove makeup every night (this has never, ever been a habit--now that flossing is down, it's time)
I think I am currently managing this about 40 percent of the time, which is an improvement. 

- reach goal weight once and for all (140 pounds)
There is a slight problem with this goal, in that I haven't weighed myself in about six months. I've been going by clothing fit, muscles. By those rubrics, I am doing well. My once-impossibly-small-grey jeans tell me that I'm about as skinny as I've been since I was fourteen, and my biceps and abs tell me that the strength training is paying off. (Also, I can do better push-ups now, and I'm using 17.5-pound dumbbells instead of 10-pounders.) I'm not super happy about my cardio. I need to drink more water. I'm not super happy about my eating habits, though I have, somehow, gone two full months without eating pastries from the cafe, and feel better for it. 

- pay back money owed Tim (so very close)
Even closer. I have a very mere amount left to pay back.

- pay off student loan (not so close)

- repair book cubes (damaged in the move last spring)

- further improve backyard (especially firepit, but also hope for fruit trees, removal of gravel, chopping of hoary huge evergreen)

- write something (anything) every day (this should be at the top of the list)
I haven't written every day, but I have written more. There is plenty of room for improvement. 

- learn more about math and computing (calculus, number theory, Python)

- publish in at least one magazine (which means submitting)
I'm still holding out for a print journal, but I did have a poem accepted at The Blue Hour this month, which is an excellent start. 

- give excellent presents (better than last year)
Tim's birthday was yesterday. He got a radiant heater for the workshop, an enormous Pyrex measuring cup to use as a tea cup, and a Leapmotion, which was, for once, a surprise. I am almost finished his "Christmas" sweater. Yes friends, this one is going well. 

- apply for at least one "real" job (something outside the service industry, something challenging, something that utilizes my skills)

- properly repair bathroom ceiling and baseboards (and begin to learn about renovating a house)
Well, Tim fixed the shower door . . . 

- play the violin again (Vivaldi's "Winter")

- learn more about baking bread (to begin: read the lovely book Laura got me for Christmas)

- get a tattoo (at last at last)
Does haunting galleries of knitting tattoos count?

- put more of myself into relationships (especially that relationship with one Tim Put)
Prompted partly by Allison's journaling assignments, and the writing that followed, Tim and I have talked and listened more over the past three weeks than in the three years previous. I have apologized for shocking, old, ugly hypocrisy, callousness. I am exhausted, but our lives are raw material again. Hope springs. 

- use my nice things (and remember that I have many)
Ethiopian tea has been drunk, fountain pens have been drained, headphones have been listened through, the daunting dried porcini and black trumpets have been turned into soup, and nice writing paper has been turned into letters.

- make and repair more, and buy better and less (I need a darning egg)
Blue cardigan, black cardigan, makeup bag, orange camisol--check, check, check, check--by which I mean fixed.

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