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Thursday, September 2, 2010

experiment



(It still kills me to bike up that hill, but today I made it up in record time.)

Today is the first day of a medication experiment. I'm not taking any. Not birth control, and not Paxil.

When I started taking the pill, my stress intolerance skyrocketed. I gained twenty pounds. Writer's block (which I moan about all the time) crashed onto my head.
Anxiety medication has only made the block worse, though it has improved the stress intolerance. I want to see how I fare on nothing at all. So far the Paxil withdrawal symptoms have not been fun, but otherwise I think I'm OK. I feel fragile,

but my head is clear.

I'm not on an anti-medication crusade. Medication enabled me to finish my first year of university, and it made Tim's life easier when all I could do was make it more difficult. It's only that this combination isn't working for me now.

And no, there will be no babies.

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