This is a topic I have given a quite a bit of thought to, strangely enough (as I don't presently have marriage in my life plan).I believe that any vows made in the presence of God (whether one believes in Him or not) and witnesses are just as binding as a legal agreement. It is still marriage and still holy when the government is left out of it. I am having an oddly difficult time forming coherent sentences. Instead of trying to type out scattered thoughts, I will just say that I am very happy for you and Tim, and I hope you have an exceedingly blessed marriage.
I think it's painfully obvious that I was having trouble forming coherent sentences too.Thank you so much for your words. It was such a relief to read them, having heard nothing but about how my marriage is "bogus" for the past week. Tim says 'thank you' as well.
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I'm sure you already know what I think, but just in case: I think that what you and Tim have done should be respected in the same way as a 'legal' marriage. You have done something that makes both of you happy, and made your hopes and promises clear. I think marriage is such a personal decision, and I don't think a piece of paper would further validate the commitment you and Tim have made to each other. You're not copping out at all. I hope your parents, and anyone else who shares their view, can celebrate how wonderful your love is.
Lizzy, you're family now. We are delighted to welcome you into our family, delighted in the love you have for our son, and in the unity we see in your relationship. We celebrated with you on the weekend, we honour the promises you have made to each other. The ceremony is a moment; marriage is a life time, make it a good one, together. We beleive it will be good for both of you.
Oh dear sweet friend,I don't know how anyone could hold (or call) this as a mistake against you? Thats incredulous to me. My beleif in marriage is relatively straightfoward; that is is, and should be, a sharing of vows; a commitment of body and mind and heart; a joining of hands - that you way you walk through life, make deicisions, change and mature and unfurl is shared with the person you love - Not for the paper and the puffy dress and the $$$ spent or the approving nods of ancestors... but rest assured, my love and admiration for you in unchanging and perhaps even more so now for hearing about your happenings - which in my mind are not fiacscos at all. As painful as it is, especially with your father, focus on what is good and rich - your partnership with Tim and the family you are carving out every day in each other's eyes.And as a postscript, your voice is beautiful - soft and honest... like the first fall of snow.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. These messages were more beautiful and encouraging than I could have hoped for. Natalie -I'm so glad you could come to the party. It was lovely to have you there, and I appreciated your congratulations very, very much.Kathy -I could not have been luckier in a mother-in-law. I've felt so welcome in your home. Thank you.Emily -It is wonderful to have the blessings and good wishes of a woman I admire as I admire you. Thank you for your reassurance, your insight, and joy.
Oh, Lizzy: you & Tim are absolutely darling. Listening to you read promises to each other under the soft blossoming trees in that breezy park was beautiful. To tell you the truth, I felt like the stereotypical movie-mother who cries at her daughter's wedding - I was honestly holding back. Of course, my reasons had nothing to do with motherliness: I was so touched to see such a perfect union for my dear friend. I don't care what anyone may say about legalities or moralities. You are a wife; and the best Tim could hope for. I am still unfathomably happy for both of you and congratulate you heartily.
Laura, you made a perfect movie-mother. You were a lifesaver, calming me down before the wedding, and certainly the person I most wanted to watch us get married. Thank you for your congratulations. They mean the world.
When it comes down to it, whether you're legally married or not, the way you feel about Tim and the way he feels about you would be exactly the same, with or without a piece of paper. You both made a decision that was right for you at the time and I completely respect that. Also I am extending my congratulations and warm wishes (from both myself and my mother, who holds you in a very special place in her heart). I am happy that you are happy because, my dear, you truly deserve to be happy.
Thanks so much to you and your mother. I so appreciate your support, especially since I am still having nightmares about certain family members of mine.
Speak your piece.